What changes when you stop trying to build someone else’s business?
- Business
- Written by Denise Oliver
There is a tree in my back garden, fondly referred to as the dancing tree, that I notice particularly at this time of year.
Through Summer, she is full and green, blending into the garden around her. Then as autumn arrives her leaves begin to change and start to fall leaving a carpet of orange beneath her.
This is when her shape becomes clearer and somehow, in becoming less covered, she becomes more itself.
I’ve been thinking about that when it comes to business because perhaps transformation isn’t always about becoming bigger but perhaps sometimes it’s about becoming more you.
The business you've been told to build
There is a particular version of business success that we’re all exposed to – building visibility, an audience, a network… and then there is the impossible posting schedule.
Grow quickly. Scale faster. Be everywhere.
And if that way of doing business works beautifully for you, that’s wonderful. But I’m here to ask, what if it doesn’t?
What if you’ve been trying to follow the accepted rules of business while quietly wondering why everything feels harder and more exhausting than it should?
Perhaps you’ve convinced yourself that you’re simply not disciplined enough, confident enough, consistent enough, or ambitious enough. You’ve decided you’re no good at marketing or worse: it’s time to be more extroverted.
But what if there’s another possibility?
What if you’re trying to build a business that doesn’t fit you.
What if you stopped treating yourself as the problem?
This is where things can get interesting because there is a difference between developing skills and constantly trying to correct yourself.
Of course, there are things we all need to learn in business especially if, like myself, you initially spent your career in employment and so never learned any business basics such as marketing, selling, money, social media, communication, and so much more.
But learning how to run a business doesn’t have to mean learning how to become somebody else. Your quieter nature isn’t necessarily something to overcome.
- Your preference for thinking before speaking is not a flaw, as I used to believe about myself
- Wanting meaningful conversations rather than endless networking isn’t a lack of ambition
- Needing space to think doesn’t mean you lack momentum (needing space to think for me is a resilience tactic)
- Wanting your business to support your life isn’t evidence that you aren’t serious about it
These things can become part of the way you build your business.
Transformation can be surprisingly quiet
We often imagine transformation as a dramatic moment. Thunder bolts and lightning and all that jazz. And maybe on the stage and in films that is how it has to be depicted to make an impact. That big decision or complete reinvention or that brave leap is somehow hyped up.
But what about the times when it begins with something much smaller like when you stop doing something that never felt right but you have been doing it because you think you should?
You stop measuring your business against somebody else’s and choose to speak about the thing you actually care about. You change the way you work with clients that makes room for your life to be lived more fully. Or you realise that success doesn’t have to look the way you once thought it did.
One small decision, then another, and another… and gradually, your business starts to look and feel different. Not because you’ve built something bigger but because you’ve built something that’s more yours.
Autumn doesn't cling to summer
Nature doesn’t try to hold onto every leaf or flower. It doesn’t decide that green is better and refuses to change. Mother nature responds to the season and there is wisdom in that.
Our businesses have seasons, too, and so do we.
The business you wanted five years ago may not be the business you want now. The way you worked in your thirties may not suit the woman you are today. Your priorities have changed, your energy has changed, as has your definition of success.
Non of this is failure. It’s information.
And perhaps transformation begins when you allow yourself to build from where you actually are, rather than constantly trying to get back to who you think you should be.
Your version of success
One of the most important questions you can ask yourself is: What does success actually mean to me?
Not what you think it should mean but what you want success to be like and look like and feel like.
This is not about what social media tells you or what the latest business book tells you or what another entrepreneur has decided is the next milestone.
You. What do you want your business to make possible for you and your life?
It can be anything – money, time, freedom, security, a sense of purpose… or perhaps several of those things and more. There is no universal answer. There is only your answer.
And this is where enrichment starts to become much more than a nice word. Because a business can be commercially successful and still leave you feeling depleted. It can look impressive from the outside while quietly taking over your life.
Enrichment asks a different question: “Is the way I’m building this business making my life richer too?”
From fitting-in to finding your way
This is the transformation we’re interested in at The Enrichment Collective.
Not turning introversion into another label to hide behind. not telling you to reject everything that feels uncomfortable, and certainly not suggesting that you never need to stretch yourself.
It’s about learning to distinguish between growth that expands you and growth that erases you because that’s what being depleted is, that thing that stops you in your tracks.
There will be things you need to learn. There are always things to learn and then things to do, for example, visibility may still require courage, but you don’t have to abandon yourself in the process.
You can build a business around your expertise, learn how to communicate it and become more confident in selling it. You can grow and you can still be yourself.
That is a very different kind of ambition.
A quiet moment
Take a little time this week to look at your business without judging it. Ask: What would change if I trusted my own way of doing business?
Perhaps this autumn, you don’t need to become someone new. Perhaps you simply need to let a few things fall away, like the trees are doing with their leaves. Those things might be expectations, comparisons, or the apparent business “rules” that never really suited you.
Underneath all of this, you may find something rather valuable: your way.
And there is a particular kind of freedom in discovering that you don’t have to build someone else’s version of a successful business. You can build one that is successful for you that uses your expertise, reflects your values, supports your life and, ultimately, enriches it.
Your Quiet Shift
From: “How do I fit into the way business is done?”
To: “How can I build a business that fits me?”
That question has the potential to change far more than your marketing strategy. It can change the business itself.
Feeling isolated in business?
You may have just found the space where you belong...
The Enrichment Collective is a community and business growth space for introverted, quietly ambitious women who want to build successful businesses without sacrificing their wellbeing, their values, or the life they actually want to live.
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